Embarrassing Moments in Massage, We Are Only Human

Those precious moments while you are getting undressed for your massage are the moments when we Massage Therapists are running for the bathroom, grabbing a quick bite of an energy bar, or chugging down a glass of water, but while we are in the room working on you we try our best to be superhuman, never fart, belch, sneeze, or cough... oh but sometimes it just cannot be controlled.


Aside from the embarrassing sounds such as glurping or growling stomachs there are those moments when all the squeezing of butt checks, crossing of our eyes to hold back a sneeze, and cough drops to ease that throat tickle just fail to be effective.


We therapist sometimes talk about these moments when we are in the break room, one therapist says that if she must fart she works her way to the clients feet to let it out, of course I then asked "what about the silent but deadlies?" she laughed and said "I just hope it is not one, but it happens."

And what about those not so silent ones that sneak out despite all our efforts and sound like a mini sub machine gun "put put put put put" when we bend or lunge with our movements? I don't know which is worse, the silent but smelly or the little trumpets!

There have been only two occasions where I have needed to excuse myself from the massage room for an emergency evacuation of whatever I ate for lunch that decided it did not agree with me, luckily for me both times I was with regular clients who were very understanding.


Yes we have had many clients who sneeze, cough, fart, or have very active digestive systems, we would never fault them for that, but we are very self conscious and aware of our own bodies as we try to provide you with a relaxing therapeutic experience.


I have seen online reviews in which a reviewer complains that a massage therapists stomach was making noises during the massage, it is unfortunate that some people believe that we should be able to have total control of every aspect of our bodies functions at will, we do honestly wish we could, but at the end of the day we are only human.